Continued from Tony Perez's Electronic Diary (October 19, 2018 - March 12, 2019) http://tonyperezphilippinescyberspacebook41.blogspot.com/

Photo by JR Dalisay / April 21, 2017

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Your Messenger message:

"Dear Sir Tony, hindi ko na po matiis na hingin ang inyong saloobin at opinyon sa aking sitwasyon ngayon. I look up to you po pagdating sa karanasan at kakayahan sa larangan ng pag-ibig kaya naman may tiwala ako sa inyo kesa sa nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"_____________ linggo na po ang lumipas noong huli kaming magkasama ng aking kasintahan, Sunday po iyon at sabay kaming nagsimba. Hindi ko po alam na sumama pala ang loob nya dahil naiwan sya ng bus na sasakyan namin, nauna akong sumakay sa harap ng bus (pambabae) at hindi sya nakasakay sa likod (panlalaki) at inisip nya na iniwan ko sya kaya sa simbahan pa lang masama na ang loob nya sa akin, iritable at hindi ako kinikibo.

"After ___ days na ulit sya nagparamdam sa pamamagitan ng text, humingi ng pasensya dahil iritable sya noong araw na iyon, sinabi nya rina ng dahilan kuing bakit, at ang sabi nya ay iniwan ko sya na hindi man lang ako nagsabi o nagsignal na sasakay kami, ang dahilan ko naman kung bakit nagmamadali akong sumakay sa unahan ay para tanungin ang nagmamaneho kung dadaan ba ng simbahan, noong nilingon ko sya sa likod at nakitang hindi pa apla sya nakasakay, dali dali kong pinindot ang pintuan para bumaba pero pilit na itong nagsara at umandar na kaya ko sya naiwan. Nagtaxi na lang sya noon at nagkita kami sa simbahan.

"Gusto ko pong hingin ang inyong saloobin, after _____ days na nagparamdam sya mula nang magalit, nagreply ako nang hindi maayos, sinabi ko sa kanya lahat ng sama ng loob ko, ang hindi paghatid at pagsundo sa akin sa _________, ang hindi pag alala sa aming monthsary, at ang hindi sinsadyang maiwan sya. Pagkatapos po noon ay hindi na sya nagreply o pumunta sa bahay ng weekend

"Easter Sunday, ____ days mula noong huling mensahe ko, nagmessage ulit ako sa kanya para sabihing ' ok lang na pinadama mo sa aking ayaw mo na' at para ihatid ang mga damit nya na naiwan sa bahay. Easter sunday nung iniwan ko sa bahay nya ang mga damit nya nang wala sya doon.

"inanfriend ko rin po sya dito sa facebook at inanfriend rin po nya ang aking mga kapatid.

"Ngayon Sir tony hinahanap hanap ko sya at namimiss pero hindi ko alam kung ayaw na ba talaga nya, inunahan ko sya magdesisyon pero wala syang sagot pero may mga gamit pa po ako sa bahay nya. Magkikita po dapat kami kahapon para magusap pero hindi sya nagpakita, tinawagan ko rin ng isang beses pero hindi sumagot. Ngayon kailangan ko na po ba syang tuluyang kalimutan?"


My reply:

Hello _____________!

The man you are in love with seems full of himself and has bipolar tendencies. It is obvious that you love him more than he loves you, and that you will always be on the losing, emotional, end. The long and the short of it is that you are better off with someone else who is not prone to mood swings and overreaction.

On one hand, if he really loves you, he should be open to listening to your gripes without abruptly cutting off communication between you. On the other, if you really love him, why could you not accept him for everything he is, including his shortcomings? Were you sensitive only to what you were feeling and not to what he was feeling?

In real life, the Beast never turns into a handsome prince. A Beast remains a Beast forever. Know that you cannot change people unless they themselves desire that change.

What you are experiencing now is transient loneliness. It is what every woman who believes she is not complete without a man goes through, and there are consequences to this. One is that, if you patiently wait for him to come back, you will feel "complete" again but must pussyfoot round his temperament. The other is that, if he does not come back, you will fall in love with someone of the same type and will relive your doomed fairy tale all over again.

In the end, consider whether he actually outgrew you.

Could you also possibly outgrow him?

Take a long vacation from love and romance. You might even be better off alone.

This is the first and last time I am replying to this issue. My advice is for you to seek counsel from an older person of your own gender. I do not handle cases such as yours. Neither do they interest me, as I am quite appalled and revolted whenever I see people who are lost in love.


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