You don't have to heal others in anyone's name. You simply make them well again with your personal compassion, your love, your abilities, and your good intentions, period.

Super-quiet neighborhood.

Lunch at home alone; granddaughters still resting upstairs.

The sky is a blank sheet of paper waiting to be written on with gold ink.

Good morning, Cubao!

Slept ten hours last night.

2020 comes to Cubao.

Fireworks in the neighborhood from 11:50 PM through 12:00 midnight. Complete silence by 12:30 AM, as though everyone were saying "We made a big ruckus last year and it was a bad year, and we're not going to let ourselves get fooled again."

Mixed myself a gimlet.

Welcome to my life, 2020, the year of the chained god of the sea!

I stand on the shoulders of my ancestors!

Turned on all of the porch lights on the ground floor, and will leave those on through 1:00 AM. Now all of the children with their toy horns are congregating there.

Asked Jerome to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Brought some food over to the compound security guard.

New Year's Eve dinner at home with family

The December leaf falls off my planner. End of Seattle's Best Coffee planners.

Moved to a traditional, 2020, bookstore planner and a 2020 desktop planner. The pages are being filled up already!

One-hour, afternoon nap.

The granddaughters are busy cooking dinner in the kitchen. Angelique brought Keiko Kashigawa downstairs.

Turned the holiday porch lights on.

Worked half an hour on construction lines.

Angelique arrived from doing groceries at the center.

Lunch at home with Angelique. Aubrey still resting upstairs.

Angelique now off to the center to do groceries.

It happens all the time. My granddaughters and I always agree to keep our holiday dinners simple and all to ourselves for a change. Then, the day before the holiday eve, we suddenly feel like doing something special. They decide to cook and invite my sisters over. As a result, the afternoon is comprised of frenzied shopping for food ingredients. 

During the entire holiday season in Cubao I noted the marked absence of Igorot, Badjao, and Aeta mendicants--truly wonderful because I've always believed that their being allowed to roam the district was a great affront to their dignity.

Instead of those, though, it seems that quite a few psychotics have been let loose. 

Two cups of Mawil's Kalinga coffee.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a golden bowl filled with the world's good wishes.

On the 31st, wear predominantly black.

At midnight, change to predominantly white.

Forget about the polka dots.

This is the right time to light white candles in succession in your cauldron through midnight of December 31 to help yourself transit to the New Year.

Never leave lit candles unattended.

I am one of your living, spirit guides if:

--There is often a silver wolf in your dreams
--You always find yourself in my night classes
--I give you gifts in your dreams
--You ask me for something and, unbeknownst even to myself, you get it.

Can't wet my hands and my body until 9:00 PM tonight because of my hilot session, so I'll call it a day for construction lines and resume tomorrow.

Was able to photograph the model for Jesus again this evening, though.

Angelique sat with me and ate chocolates and a chocolate chip cookie while I took my dinner; Aubrey taking her dinner later.

Asked Jerome to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

I must congratulate my neighbors. I haven't heard a single firecracker since December 24--unless people are saving their pyrotechnic caches for tomorrow. Some children have been blowing toy horns on the compound.

Angelique and J. are back home from Baguio.

Unexpected holiday goodies from the Cusi family

So strange. A tornado zipped by Planas Site at 2:00 PM yesterday, uprooted a tree, and hurled it onto  a neighbor's car, crushing it completely. I learned about it only this afternoon.

A neighborhood hilot is a reliable source of grapevine news.

Aubrey is back from the family dentist's.

Waiting for Angelique and J. to arrive from Baguio.

Must take more reference photos of models for Painting #14.

Asked the neighborhood hilot to come to the house again.

Your Messenger message:

"Hi Sir tony,

"Would like to ask, who is our holy guardian angel, the higherself or main guide? Thanks"

My reply:

Hello _____!

When we refer to guardian angels, we mean celestial beings assigned to us from birth through death.

Spirit guides come to us and leave us at different times in our lives. They could be spirits of the deceased, elementals, or power animals. They could also be among living, human beings, such as a next-door neighbor who wouldn't even know that he is your spirit guide.

The Higher Self is part of our psyche and is always within us. Sometimes it is referred to as Freud's Superego or Jung's Superconscious, the latter of which overlaps with the Collective Superconscious of the world.

So, you are talking of three different entities.

Worked half an hour on construction lines.

Worked half an hour on construction lines.

A labor group rally in front of Police Station 7, which is right across the street from our house. Apparently three laborers were arrested last night without respect to their rights.

Worked half an hour on construction lines.

Saw Aubrey off to the family dentist's.

Lunch at home alone. Aubrey still resting upstairs.

Worked half an hour on construction lines.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun smiles back from polished, tile floors.

And now a hot shower before snuggling in bed.

Still reading the first Charlie Bone volume. My theory is right. In any long series, the FIRST is the best and will always remain so.

Dinner at home with Aubrey.

Brought some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Worked half an hour on construction lines.

This painting begins today, December 29, 2019.

Aubrey and I went to the neighborhood grocery to buy snack food.

Jerome and Ronel finally wrapped and set aside The Wedding Reception at Cana.

Ready for Painting #14, the right panel of the diptych.

One-hour, mid-afternoon nap.

Back from jalan-jalan. Changed some money and bought nine things before going home.

And now to hibernate from the public through the rest of the holidays.

Lunch at home with Aubrey.

Going jalan-jalan in a few--then staying home and indoors through January 2--not only to avoid the crowds but to work on Painting #14 as well.

The angel of the Tree of Life stopped by our compound. We ordered a punch-bowlful again.

Rest day from construction work on service passage.

Will go jalan-jalan later.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a golden pavilion in the river garden of the sky.

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

Bought a hot dog sandwich for the compound security guard.

Dinner at home alone; Aubrey taking her dinner later.

Asked Ronel to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

End of another workday on the rear passage. We're taking a break and will resume either December 31 or January 1.

One-hour, afternoon nap.

Lunch at home with W. Aubrey still resting upstairs.

W. reported for work again today.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun changes from one gold robe to another.

Mixed myself a gimlet to help me sleep, but I'm not feeling woozy at all.

I've always wanted a lighted, narrow canal that would run around the ground floor rooms of our house beneath tempered glass. I'd fill it with aquarium fish and water plants and miniature boats and mermaids and castles. It would be an underwater world in itself, and I'd spend hours gazing into its depths.

Whimsical, house projects I am considering having done:

--Build a bahay kubo on our roof deck.
--Erect a watchtower with tinted glass on the southeast corner of our house.
--Extend my bedroom to the rear passage with a loft to accommodate friends sleeping over.
--Add two more toilets/bathrooms on the ground floor.
--Add more electrical outlets.
--Convert the current dining room to a guest bedroom and convert the studio lounge to a dining room.
--Build three secret passages from the ground floor to the upper floor.
--Build one or two rear balconies.
--Add a complete bar either on the ground floor or the upper floor.
--Convert Ivy's bedroom to a study room and relegate all bookcases there.
--Build extending, overhead lights above the driveway beside our house.
--Hang electric, capiz lanterns on all of the trees around our house.
--Upgrade M.'s cafe.

Sounds like a plan, anyway.

Heaven on earth, to me, is not being an award-winning writer, a painter in demand, or being present at cultural events.

Heaven on earth, to me, is being happily retired and receiving a pension that allows me to buy whatever I like, send one granddaughter through law school and another granddaughter through Pre-Med, remodel a portion of the house to my fancy every year, and enjoy my evolving collections, among other things.

In effect, I am being paid to do nothing but simply be myself.

I have the choice to do nothing or to do something, but only something I like.

I don't care what other people say about me. Because, to me, it looks like they are in hell on earth.

The werewolf crossed the street to the burger stand.

Bought cheeseburgers for M., Ronel, and the compound security guard.

Dinner at home with Aubrey.

Asked Ronel to take some food to the cafe for his dinner.

End of another workday on service passage.

Two-hour, afternoon nap.

The sun will be setting in a couple of hours and soon it will be Saturday again. Time flies too swiftly when one is retired and completely enjoying life.

Ronel is back from his brief holiday, Jerome is due to arrive within the day, and M. is at MegaMall. Daily routines are slowly going back to normal.

Lunch at home with Aubrey and W.

Thinking of bringing one console table and some ancient-Greek-motif stuff upstairs, to what might eventually be an upstairs living and dining area.

W. reported for work again this morning. He's off to the hardware store to purchase more stuff.

Two cups of Mawil's Kalinga coffee.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is the shining, brass buckle on a roan leather belt.

So many Friends are complaining that they're having lonely nights. They haven't realized that every night after Christmas IS a lonely night, all the way through the night of December 30.

A paper sack of Kalinga coffee from Mawil.

Aubrey ground the beans for me.

End of this workday on service passage.

Aubrey cooking brown rice.

Lunch at home with Aubrey and W.

W. reported for work today.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is an inverted, stainless-steel basin.

And suddenly the rain stopped.

Elfin party ongoing inside the dragon tree on our compound, despite the rain. I can hear the music.

If neighborhood and street pets are already fast asleep, they've probably been invited and are in astral attendance.

Cozy night, perfect for a hilot or a deep tissue massage.

Wet night in Cubao.

Dinner at home alone.

Brought some food over to M.

Aubrey and R. arrived from their Christmas dinner.

Home alone.

Aubrey at a Christmas dinner with R. and his family.

Angelique off to Baguio City with J. and his family.

Lunch at home with Angelique and Aubrey.

And then a one-hour, early afternoon nap.

Sleep is as delicious as expensive chocolate.

Aubrey is cooking our lunch in the kitchen.

Finished a Charlie Bone novel last night and launching into a second novel tonight.

Your Messenger message:

"Good morning sir tony merry xmas!

"I was hoping i could ask for some advice regarding a matter. Im currently faced with a choice of either moving abroad to study then work or stay in the philippines and continue working in the artistic fields. I see both choices to have their merits and demerits which is why im really in a dillema about it. Thank you for your time"

My reply:

Hello ___!

Here are the things to consider about studying and living abroad: --The seasons and the clothing you will need to be comfortable

--Having to do everything for yourself without assistance from anyone

--Craving food that is not available there

--Paying for every single thing and every single service, because nothing is for free

--Being a foreigner and being subject to discrimination

--Dealing with friends with different values and a different sense of humor

Here are the things to consider about remaining in the Philippines:

--There is really no such thing as "working in the artistic fields"

--Being underpaid for everything

--Realizing that commercial art, derivative art, and kabakyaan sell more than serious art does

--Looking around and seeing that everyone tends to paint like everyone else

--Dealing with atchay employers and atchay clients

--Never being rich because of your art

The decision is yours--no one can tell you what to do.

Your question to me, of course, really has nothing to do with art but should rather be phrased as, "In which country am I more likely to survive and become rich?" My answer to that is: Granted that you are willing to work yourself to the bone, go abroad. You can always come back home anyway.

Wearing my diamonds today. It is quite clear to the entire world, anyway, that Christmas is not about poverty, what with all the mall sales at the centers and the amount of food on household tables. Many children are also brought up to look forward to Christmas Day as a day of new and expensive toys.

Religious people will stress that the poor are blessed, but I have always believed that every poor man's objective is to be blessedly rich.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are big-breakfast buffet tables.

Sorry, I don't respond to Messenger greetings. I find that there is something furtive and insincere about them--as though the senders don't want others to know that we're Friends--and I don't like the way they congest my Messenger Inbox.

Now the videoke is playing in M.'s cafe. A group must have knocked on the door and begged M. to let them in.

Just like after any full day of the year, I am happy to have a hot shower and then snuggle in bed with a book that will help me drift off to sleep.

A quiet dinner with the granddaughters. Forewent having guests because the studio and the service passage are still a mess.

Asked my sister Alice to come and take home some food.

Brought some food over to M., who is spending the night alone in the cafe, though the cafe will be back in operation tomorrow.

Brought some food over to the compound security guard.

More goodies from my sister Sylvia in Sydney

Sat with the granddaughters while they took their lunch in the dining room.

A mug of lotus tea.

Lunch at home alone. The granddaughters are still resting upstairs, though I saw that Aubrey let some meat outside the freezer to thaw. She is cooking our Christmas Eve dinner.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are white-sand beaches with silver coconut groves.

Pastor Quiboloy's enemies have no clue that they are just as bad as he is.

The pastor says STOP. His enemies say GO.

In both cases, nothing happens.

Reb, I read your anecdote and will reply to you here. I perceive what you described as having nothing to do with bipolarism but everything to do with an encounter with atchays. Ironically, it is constant exposure to atchays that causes bipolarism, so be very careful with the career and the jobs you take on.

Done with 2020 journal letdowns. We'll just buy traditional, bookstore planners next year. They're cheaper and offer a wider range of choices. The bookstore journals re more fabulous too.

Goodbye, El Cheapo coffee shop products!

Left to Right: Angelique's (Starbucks), Grandpa's (Seattle's Best Coffee), Aubrey's (Starbucks)

Dinner at home alone.

Asked Ronel to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Angelique and Aubrey arrived from the center, and then we went to the neighborhood grocery to buy more stuff.

Goodbye forever, lambanog!

Angelique and Aubrey are now at the center buying food and ingredients for our Christmas Eve dinner.

Believe it or not, The Wedding Reception at Cana is NOT YET touch-dry. It's as though my spirit guides are forcing me to take the holidays to rest and leave painting for a while.

Everyone likes saying "Tumaba ka" because they have so much fun watching you pretend that you're not upset.

Of course, the even worse line is "Tumataba ka yata", because it is heavy with fake concern.

The complete arsenal: "Tumataba ka yata. Huwag ka nang kakain, kasi mas lalo ka lang tataba. Abutin mo na lang iyong Sky Flakes. Nung araw maganda ka, pero ngayon, ang pangit mo na, kasi ang taba-taba mo na. Para kang baboy na kinobe. Tumitingin ka ba sa salamin? Nakikita mo ba'ng katawan mo 'pag nakahubad ka? Nag-e-exercise ka ba o tinatamad ka? Walang mai-in-love sa 'yo niyan."

Lunch at home alone.

Now Angelique and J. are having a late lunch.

Aubrey still resting upstairs.

Bipolars are quickly turned off by imperfections (physical and otherwise) in other people. That is why they make lousy partners.

The clouds are silver balconies bedecked with carnival bunting.

Good noon, Cubao!

Slept eleven hours last night.

And after I woke up I even wanted to sleep on and on and on...

Early to bed for all of us. Even M.'s cafe has shut down for  the night.

Bought two volumes from Book Sale this afternoon, and so I have those in reserve.

Angelique, Aubrey, and J. arrived 8:00 PM.

Brought some food over to the compound security guard.

Dinner at home alone.

Waiting for the grandchildren to arrive.

One-hour, mid-afternoon nap.

Saw Angelique, Aubrey, and J. off to the north to visit Ivy's relatives and her grave this morning.

A one-hour, mid-morning nap.

Went jalan-jalan at the center. Bought seven things and had a light lunch at the Cubao Leaky Cauldron.

On my way back home I saw nine things on sale that I SIMPLY MUST HAVE.

How long will it take everyone to realize that the prosperity color of the new year is actually sea-green?

Did you dream last night that we were on our front balcony overlooking the street, and a religious parade passed by, and, to the left, a storm was brewing in the sky?

If you have turquoise jewelry, wear them frequently for the rest of the month.

After you've tried your best showing someone your love and they remain unresponsive, give up altogether and move on to better things.

A former supervisor in the U.S. sent me his annual holiday e-mail letter and asked me about everyone we used to work with. I replied that I've been a hermit since I retired, and that I no longer see nor hear from anyone.

I was so relieved to give that reply. My life after retirement has been all about myself and my family, never about others, and I found that I'd lost any real interest in anyone else. I also don't like being used as a source of news about other people. 

It is all right to spoil others as long as you can also afford to spoil your family and yourself.

What is beyond the traditionalist concept of Creation has got to be extraterrestrial.

Role-play in your mind as often as you like, but it is not advisable to carry it over to your real life.

To heal yourself, use not only your mind's will but your body's will as well, and simultaneously.

"I'm goin' where the sun keeps shinin'/
Through the pourin' rain/"

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky reflects the earth at one, enchanted moment in the day.

Swung by the neighborhood grocery and met the models who sat for Saint Joseph and the Boy Jesus.

Dinner at home alone. Angelique at a Christmas celebration with friends and Aubrey decided to have only a snack.

Asked Ronel to bring some food over to his cafe staff.

Brought some food over to the compound security guard. 

One-hour, mid-afternoon nap.

I love sleeping. It is a luxury.

It is also one of the best gifts. Yes, it can be given and received.

One of my spirit guides told me last night that when we get sick for no apparent reason it is because an enemy is either dead or dying and that it behooves us to share his suffering.

I haven't heard of anyone dead or dying so far.

And I don't want to know.

Lunch at home alone. Angelique and Aubrey still resting upstairs. 

If the scent has an effect, so does the substance.

That is why we continue to use perfume, cologne, candles, incense, joss sticks, and aromatherapy and essential oils.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are batches of crystal ware on the kitchen counter of the sky.

Aubrey back home from Paskuhan.

Now waiting for M.

Dinner at home alone. Angelique is having food delivered for her dinner and is taking it upstairs.

Asked Jerome to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Sat with Angelique while she had lunch in the dining room.

Saw Aubrey off to her university's Paskuhan.

Went jalan-jalan at the center to buy nine things. Hated the crowds. Glad to be back home.

After I do a spate of swift encoding of birthday greetings to Friends I always get a check-box item that says, "I am not a robot". I do NOT check it. I simply stop encoding and do something else.

1) If I am a fast encoder, I am not a robot--I am a fast encoder. Rather than slow down, other people should CATCH UP WITH ME. It's called progress.
2) The longer people spend on computers, the faster they SHOULD encode.
3) Why should I encode "Happy Birthday" SLOWLY?

I tried to Share a video clip from a Friend showing souls leaving cadavers and added the remark, "I'm not sure whether these are real or not". Facebook immediately blocked the Posting and sent me a Notification saying that only I could see the Posting because it was against their "community standards".

What was wrong with the video clip, anyway? That it should have been Posted in the Halloween instead of the Christmas season? Were they reacting to my line "I'm not sure whether these are real or not" because of the "fake news" paranoia movement? How did the video clip manage to get on my Friend's Wall in the first place before I even saw and tried to Share it--was it not against their "community standards" then? And what about all other video clips on horror, fantasy, and the surreal?

What is the point of viewing GIF files if they cannot be in motion all the time?

Lunch at home alone. Angelique and Aubrey still resting upstairs.

Might go jalan-jalan again in a while, unfortunately.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are whiteboards hung with holiday checklists.

It is not God who makes and changes history. It is human beings.

Angelique is at a Christmas get-together with friends.

Aubrey arrived home from university and consultation day for students.

Your heaven is populated only with the persons you love and .like.

Your enemy's heaven is populated only with the persons he loves and likes.

Therefore there are at least two, separate kinds of heaven, but I know that there are gazillions more.

I also know that every person can exist in more than one heaven.

Lunch at home with Angelique.

Aubrey at university for student consultation day.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are stretched canvases in the studio of the sky.

Dinner at home with Angelique.

Asked Jerico to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Brought some food over to the compound security guard.

Aubrey arrived from university and third and last day of final exams.

Went jalan-jalan at the center for the first time since my recovery from intestinal flu. Paid our water bill, then lingered at the Cubao Leaky Cauldron with an iced Americano in one of my favorite corners.

The Cubao Leaky Cauldron is the perfect place to while the afternoon away at Araneta Center. Its glass walls face the Coliseum to the west, and one can sit and watch the sun on the pavement turn from gold to pink to orange like a giant autumn leaf while the shadows gradually stretch across the district.

It is wonderful to be completely well again. I recall the time when I felt that an Alien was inside me. I felt hungry and not hungry, I started eating but did not finish eating, I started drinking but did not finish drinking, I lay in bed to nap but couldn't. In the neighborhood streets I felt that people were making passes at me, including the female hilot who gave me a once-over. After my painting was touch-dry I kept seeing details I needed to retouch, as though my spirit guides wanted me to keep going at it until I had everything right. In the end I locked myself up in my bedroom and had self-sex to flush out all of the sperm cells my fever killed inside my body.

I am still quite weak but can now eat whatever I want, especially ice cream, but, because I fasted over the past few days and lost weight as Cecile predicted, my werewolf senses are unusually heightened. When Dio hugged me this morning I smelled his bath soap and deodorant, mixed with the usual, man's travel-stress sweat that gave me visions of Cebu and Ilocos--a musky, pleasurable scent that only a fellow-werewolf would recognize.

The lesson, I think, was all about waiting--waiting to get well and waiting for whatever follows after one got well. I am being instructed to wait--for what, I do not know, but then again waiting for what one does not know is one of the purest delights in life. Surely, for better things, for I trust that the gods and goddesses of my daily life are always kind to me.

Lunch at home alone; Angelique still resting upstairs.

Must go jalan-jalan at the center in a while to pay our water bill.

Saw Aubrey off to university and her third and last day of final exams.

Dio visits Cubao--after flying in from Cebu and conducting a youth program in Ilocos--en route to his sister's house in Pasig before flying back to Cebu.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a bonfire of the waning year's vanities.

Night classes

4:30 AM

Implanting pleasant dreams in the minds of depressed children--the real mission of Santa Claus

Dinner at home with Angelique.

Asked Jerico to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Brought some food to the compound security guard.

Aubrey arrived from university and her second day of final exams. We bought snack food at the hawkers' stands.

Saw Aubrey off to university and her second day of final exams.

Lunch at home with Angelique.

The Wedding Reception at Cana is now touch-dry, and I'm having M.'s boys help me wrap it later.

Sometimes an artist will ask you, "What is the color of your love today?"

Feeling even better this morning. I took a finger of brandy last night. I have always believed that it wipes out stomach viruses.

Don't even try to mend a broken friendship. It will never be the same as it was.

The biggest irony in many a religious person's life is that the sinner he frequently condemns always has a place at Jesus' table while he himself does not.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is a waterfall of bright light.

QUO VADIS

One-hour, late afternoon nap.

Lunch at home alone; Angelique still resting upstairs. This was my first real meal since two or three days ago.

The Wedding Reception at Cana is still not touch-dry, and so I'll just lie in bed and continue reading my Charlie Bone, which is my equivalent of doing nothing.

Went to the neighborhood hilot and asked her to come to the house to give me a once-over. At first everything was extremely painful, and then my body went numb, and then it felt great. I had no choice but to let her into my bedroom, though, where she spent the first few minutes looking over my stuff and saying a line I've heard before, "Nasa iyo na lahat". That line never makes sense to me because I always feel that I don't have everything and have a long list of things I still want and need. She brought her own lana but, when I showed her a bottle of my lana from Siquijor, she preferred to use that. Now I feel that there are golden sparks of energy coursing through my veins.

Many people can't tell the difference between a massage and a hilot, but I can.

Saw Aubrey off to university and her first day of final exams.

We have all been brainwashed to believe that Light succeeded Darkness, but what if it were the other way around and that Darkness was a natural product of and relief from Light?

A good notebook is worth buying, even if you have more than enough notebooks in storage and won't be using any of them in a while.

Avoid former supervisors who continue to believe that you are still there to serve them and help them fulfill their personal objectives.

Happy Birthday to my daughter-in-law Ivy!

The opposite of being a saint is not being a sinner.

The opposite of being a saint is being a normal person.

Back to normal. All of yesterday I knew I was not yet well because everything I ate didn't taste right. My spirit guides woke me up 5:30 AM this morning. Turned off the security lights and had breakfast. Everything now tastes the way it should.

The giant butt-plug sculpture is a natural result of breasts and genitals being blurred on TV and social media screens, also known as Victorian repression.

Await more post-Victorian consequences. Jack the Ripper was one of them. He "blurred" genitals most hideously.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun sets a million floating candles on the rivers of the sky.

Angelique and Aubrey went shopping, had a study session in one of their favorite coffee shops, and bought a chocolate roll and flowers for Ivy's birthday tomorrow, December 16.

Dinner at home with the granddaughters.

Feeling antsy and raring to begin Painting #14, but _The Wedding Reception at Cana_, after all these days and nights, is not yet touch-dry. Have I been contracting time because I was ill?

(Actually it was a Lemon Coke with ice chips, but I don't drink Coke. Though now, I'm confused--hasn't it always been Cherry Coke and Lemon Pepsi?)

Well enough to take a hot shower, and that felt so good! Now all I need is a Pepsi with ice chips to tell Blanche duBois to move over--or do I mean Stanley Kowalksi yelling "Stella!" under the rain?

I buy Delimondo corned beef despite its being the product of an Enrile enterprise. I like the taste and would not deprive myself of it, period, and why be a crank about who produces it? That would be tantamount to a homophobic's not buying a gay artist's paintings because he is gay, and one's personality, after all, really has nothing to do with one's products--the latter is a result of one's talents, abilities, and endowments from God.

At 68 going on 69 I observe that no one is completely bad simply because no one is completely good, and that, to me, might include the saints whose other sides we prefer to remain blind to. Even Mother Teresa was bigoted and biased, as I am certain modernist Catholic priests experienced. And bias, to me--toward or against anything at all--is the true work of the Devil.

Two cups very black coffee. Now those are keeping me wide awake.

Lunch at home with Angelique and Aubrey. They'd been taking charge of the house while I was sick.

Slept all day yesterday, all night last night, and all morning this morning.

Still recovering from intestinal flu, but I just discovered that when one is retired it is glorious to sleep forever!

Good afternoon, Cubao!

The sun is the star on a backyard Christmas tree.

Skipped lunch.

Three-hour, early afternoon nap.

Took a cup of yogurt after.

Three-hour, morning nap.

Started reading the juvenile novel last night. It's one of six books (so far) in a series, evidently derivative of the Harry Potter series, but this one has a boy who can enter paintings. Interesting, since I not only paint but enter paintings myself. I also enter Tarot cards.

Good morning, Cubao!

The clouds are big breakfast buffets with stainless-steel coffee machines.

Angelique and J. arrived from a volleyball game and a party.

Let's all have a peaceful Friday night.

Finished reading Endless Night last night. It was too dark a love story, and quite depressing.

Reading a juvenile novel by Jenny Nimmo tonight. Hope it's good enough to make me drift off to sleep.

Dinner at home with Aubrey.

Brought some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Aubrey arrived from university.

We swung by the neighborhood grocery.

Back from jalan-jalan. Took my time at the center because the granddaughters weren't home yet.

As I walked back to the house the streets were already lighted.

Two cups very black coffee.

For the past three days the dregs in my coffee cups have been in the shapes of mystic landscapes.

A late lunch at home alone; Angelique out with friends and Aubrey at university.

Waiting for a delivery for Angelique, but must go jalan-jalan in a while.

Others will laugh at the idea, but, as Earth slowly changes its axis, we will eventually no longer be on the equator but higher up, and it will be worthwhile to build hearths into our homes. The best possible location is the kitchen and the dirty kitchen, for hearths are meant to accommodate pots and grills to cook in, but a nearby room where family members can snuggle up close to the fire is also good. 

Feast Day of Saint Lucy

December 13, 2019

The eyes have it.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun is a chunk of heart-shaped amber.

It takes two men to rotate each canvas on my easel.

It also takes two men to wrap each painting and set it aside to await delivery.

Dinner at home with Angelique.

Asked Jerome to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Aubrey back from the family dentist's and Angelique and J. back from City Hall.

I bought a huge block of tofu this morning and Angelique and J. are now cooking tofu cubes.

Watching the news before dinner.

Angelique off to City Hall and Aubrey off to the family dentist's.

Jerome and Jerico rotated the canvas on the easel.

Read more pages from Endless Night. Getting fast-paced and interesting, and mostly because I can't recall how it all ended.

In a manner of speaking, do not stop painting until:

--your characters come alive and begin breathing and moving on your canvas
--you see day turn to night and back to day again on your canvas, showing up all the different highlights and shadows
--you hear voices and sense the presence of other characters behind the walls that you painted on your canvas
--other characters step into your canvas, walk across it, and exit
--your studio is suffused with an unusual, bright, light
--you see a grid pattern superimposed on your canvas at night, when all the lights are out.

Magic is my Mistress. Psychic Abilities are my Mission.

Two-hour, mid-morning nap.

Lunch alone; Angelique and Aubrey still resting upstairs.

Must ask two of M.'s boys to rotate the canvas on the easel.

Writing is my Sinful Passion. Painting is my Penance.

When the moon is full, stay calm, keep in the background, avoid restless and hot-headed people--until the moon begins to wane again.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sky is an apricot-colored baby's blanket at sunrise.

Asked Jerico to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Brought some food over to the compound security guard.

And so to bed.

Dinner at home with Angelique.

Aubrey arrived from university.

We bought snack food at the hawkers' stalls.

Read more pages from Endless Night.

One-hour, afternoon nap.

It is refreshing to a lowlander to go beside the sea and on top of a mountain, but it eventually becomes tedious, and he will choose to go back to places where everything else is available to him.

An artist always has a choice between two things: to join the loud parade or to stay home and do serious work.

Very few have actually figured out that the more friends one has, the more a mess one's life becomes.

People frequently create their own problems and then beg or expect other people to solve those problems for them.

That is why I never chose psychology as a full-time career.

Psychology is there merely to serve my psychic abilities, my creative writing, and my painting.

Broken glass cannot be mended, but what's to stop you from replacing it with a new piece of glass?

Love your country, but before being concerned with what you should do, be concerned with what you are and what you are not.

Life goes on inside different rooms, except that walls render us unable to see it.

Never go on autopilot. Be proactive and be in control.

Know how to make each day a new and beautiful day, for it is the mechanical sequence of the hours that leads one to depression and despair.

Continuous creativity is itself a routine that one must learn how to break out of.

Lunch at home alone; Aubrey at university; Angelique still resting upstairs.

A quiet mid-week.

Two cups very black coffee.

Good morning, Cubao!

The sun wears gold rings on all ten fingers.

Dinner at home with Angelique, Aubrey, and J.

Continued reading Endless Night. Getting interesting and disturbing.

One-hour, afternoon nap. When I woke up, I thought it was dawn.

Read more pages from Endless Night.

Then had a slice of sticky rice cake and a cup of black tea.

Look, Dick, Look.

A new piece of 4.5' x 6' cradled canvas was delivered to our house today. This will soon be Painting #14 for Maryhill School of Theology.

Lunch at home alone.

J. arrived from another job interview. Angelique and J. took lunch in the living room.

The clouds are trees bursting with kapok blossoms.

Good morning, Cubao!

Slept ten hours last night.

Asked Michael to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.

Angelique and J. cooked a Korean dinner tonight.

Dinner at home with Angelique and J.; Aubrey still doing schoolwork upstairs.

Keiko Kasihigawa sat with us.

Halfway through Endless Night.

One-hour, afternoon nap.

Vernissage: The Wedding Reception at Cana

I love how slapdash strokes magically come into clear focus as you step four feet away from the painting.