Thursday, December 31, 2020
After lighting jasmine-scented joss sticks at our three, ground-floor altars, gave Yukiko Taka dishes of fresh milk and water.
First morning chore: Washed wine goblets and dishes that collected in the sink. The first time washing at the sink for the day I always say, "We honor our ancestors at the kitchen sink."
A cup of Ma-ay's very black coffee from Cotabato.
Brought some food over to Lennoel at the cafe.
Night chores.
My favorite time of the day has come again: an evening shower, and then spending some time watching Bounty Hunter D, Patty Mayo, and Dan Patrick online videos.
Granddaughters will be drinking wine in the dining room later, and I think I'll ave a glass of brandy before turning in for the night.
Lighting the side porch ceiling lights through midnight,
Wednesday, December 30, 2020
A patrol car has been going round the whole day with the announcement that fireworks, among other things, are prohibited. I suspect that our neighborhood will be celebrating inside their houses peacefully tonight. After all, Precinct 7/Camp Panopio Compound is right across the street, and I am certain that no one wants to meet the New Year there.
Tuesday, December 29, 2020
If you are a man, discourage every woman from consulting you with her problems or requesting you to be her mentor. Direct her to an elderly psychologist of her own gender. This prevents both of you from having to deal with transference, that annoying phenomenon in which a female counselee projects her feelings toward a male counselor and begins to perceive him as her father, grandfather, uncle, brother, husband, and eventually her secret lover.
While transference does occur between men, it is rare and is easier for them to recognize and resolve between themselves.
Unless, of course, YOU are the flirt.
Dinner at home with Aubrey. Then Angelique arrived from her dinner and coffee reunion and exchanging of gifts with her college friends.
Asked Brian to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.
A leapin' Tuesday night: A group of bank employees booked M.'s cafe for their holiday party. Music, food, games, balloons popping, shrieks, and laughter.
Night chores.
My favorite time of the day has come again: an evening shower, and then spending some time watching Bounty Hunter D, Patty Mayo, and Dan Patrick videos.
Tagalog lore informs us that gnomes get upset and make people sick if someone goes behind a tree and accidentally pisses on them or drops food, wrappers, or other stuff on their heads. The truth is that gnomes are more forgiving than that, knowing and accepting that people can't help being people.
There is only one way to hurt and insult gnomes, and that is to step on their super-sensitive toes. That is why they often wear boots with protective, brass, pointy tips.
Monday, December 28, 2020
To view the photo of the silver-plated buckets, go to my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=3603914653028569&set=a.936008466485881. If Google Chrome does not enable you to open the link, simply copy and paste on the browser of your Facebook page.
Aubrey puttied another wall in her bedroom and is working on repainting it today.
A few weeks ago while overhauling her bedroom, Aubrey found these three, silver-plated, buckets pierced with Christmas patterns and set them aside to throw away. Angelique saved them and placed them on my writing table. I filled them to the brim with coins and candy toppings and gave them away to the little girls who regularly play outside our house. (They are actually miniature, tea light holders but I didn't place tea lights in them because they might get lit improperly.)
At a certain point in your life your dreams stop being fantastic and surreal and you begin living a parallel life in them. This is because your ego has sufficiently matured hand in hand with your psyche, which typically happens when you withdraw from your social life into solitude and declare to yourself that you have no real and urgent need of other people in this lifetime.
To view the photo of my 8M ring, go to my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=3603726519714049&set=a.936008466485881. If this link won't open here, copy and paste on the browser on your Facebook page.
Your Messenger message:
"Good morning Sir Tony
"What is the Meaning of waking up at 3am . How would I know who is spirit guide ? Thank youMy reply:
Hello _______!
Each three-hour segment of the day and the night ( = 24 hours) is ruled by an elemental king. Their names in Philippine magic are MATAM, MITAM, MICAM, MACMAMITAM, MILAM, MAEMPOMOEM, MALAMUROC, and MOMOMOM.
When you wake up at 3:00 AM your energy simply attunes to the "changing of the guard", and nothing more. It is quite hilarious that very ignorant Filipino scriptwriters believe that it is a time when spirits visit the living. Why should spirits visit the living at 3:00 AM, when, like all other spirits, they can very well visit the living at ANY TIME?
(If you are sensitive enough you will find that you also attune to the "changing of the guard" at the beginning of all other, three-hour segments.)
As to knowing who your spirit guides are, the easiest way is through creative visualization and hypnosis. I retired in 2015 and no longer do this.
Lennoel arrived from an overnight in Tagaytay with his former schoolmates.
Asked Lennoel to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.
Night chores.
My favorite time of the day has come again: an evening shower, and then spending some time watching Bounty Hunter D, Patty Mayo, Paula Zahn, and Dan Patrick online videos.
Sunday, December 27, 2020
Monday, Monday
UnFriended more non-interactive Friends. It was like discarding photos from the past in which everything has gone out of style.
Down to 4,666 Friends from 5,000.
Non-interactive former co-workers and Spirit Questors: I will start unFriending you the Monday after the New Year. You are in my four Private Groups anyway and I don't see why you should have continued access to my main account.
The forbidden fruit was not sex, for there were all kinds of animals, all of whom Adam named, in the Garden of Eden, and I am certain that they engaged in sex. So, then, would have Adam and Eve, since they were created with male and female genitals. Innocence and the sacrament of matrimony were conceived by other men thousands of years later.
I wonder now if Adam and Eve had progeny in Eden, or if Eve already bore Abel in her womb before they were exiled from the Garden.
Don't just be warm, be warm and dry. Don't just be warm and dry, be warm and dry in a clean place. Don't just be warm and dry in a clean place, be warm and dry in a clean, sweet-smelling place. Don't just be warm and dry in a clean, sweet-smelling place, be warm and dry in a safe, clean, and sweet-smelling place.
Saturday, December 26, 2020
Watched CLTV 36's excellent documentation of the Gregorio funeral cortege. I actually felt that I was physically there.
As for myself, I want the immediate aftermath of my death to have only three, quick and easy steps:
--Ensure that I am dead.
--Cremate my cadaver.
--Inter my ashes wherever the ashes of my deceased relatives are.
After that, everyone, please go back to normal, daily activities. Wash the dishes, do laundry, or take a nap.
Your Messenger message:
"Hello, Sir Tony. Merry Christmas. I just wanna share my strange dream last night. Lumipat daw kami sa bahay ng isang kakilala dahil may nabili na raw sila na bagong bahay. Sa naaalala ko, concrete yung bahay pero unfurnished at ang pakiramdam ko malayo sa siyudad yung lugar pero may mga kapitbahay naman. Nang nakalipat na kami, isng gabi may naramdman akong kakaiba na parang may tao sa labas ng bahay. Nang lumabas ako may nakita akong anino mg lalaki na parang biglang tumakbo papalayo paglabas ko. At kinaumagahan, may lalaki akong nakausap medyo chubby siya at hindi ko naman kilala, siguro mga 25 years old ang edad. May sinasabi siya sa akin about aswang at sinabihan ko naman siya na kagabi may naramdaman akong kakaiba s labas ng bahay at doon siya umamin na siya raw iyon. Sinabi niya sakin na karamihan daw ng kapitbahay namin ay aswang at isa sya sa mga iyon. Dadag pa niya, siya raw ay isang tiktik nag iba ang anyo niya na parang halimaw bigla at kinuha ko naman agad ang kutsilyo. Nang sinakasak ko siya, hindi man lang nagalusan kaya mga ilang ulit kong sinambit ang salitang 'possum'. At hindi niya ako ginalaw. Naputol na po dun amg aking panaginip. Kanina paggising ko mga bandang 3AM. Hinanap ko sa google ang word na 'possum'. Alam kong latin yun na salita pero first time kong ma encounter. Ang ibig sabihin po pala noon pag pinag conjugate ay ' I am able or I am capable.
"Sa tingin nyo po, sir Tony ano po bang ibig sabihin ng aking panaginip?. Salamat po."Angelique and Jazz took a late lunch in the dining room.
Went jalan-jalan to the center. Had money changed for the weekend and bought another ball of ham and incandescent ceiling bulbs for our side porches and hallway. Lennoel installed the bulbs. I decided to switch to incandescents because the fluorescents exuded an unwelcome, cold, frigid atmosphere. We are now reserving our fluorescents for our bathrooms and toilets, kitchen, service passages, reading lamps, and the studio area.
Friday, December 25, 2020
Armand and Lani swooped by and dropped off a kilawin dish and two pans of Lani's scrumptious pound cake, my favorite! I take her pound cake most creatively: as is or with butter, with cheese, with blueberry jam, even with drizzled, black coffee!
Again, they passed by without warning. I was unable to prepare anything to give them.
Aubrey came downstairs to a late lunch in the dining room. Angelique, who had her lunch earlier, came down for a snack. Sat with my granddaughters with two cups chamomile and spicy apple tea.
All three of us are always fast asleep whenever there is an earthquake, and the earthquakes don't affect our dreams.
Thursday, December 24, 2020
One-hour, Christmas day noon nap.
Then Joel Messaged and said he was standing outside my house and had something to give me.
OMG I haven't seen this former student in years and he knows exactly what I want! Am reading the BL bio in bed tonight.
Friends, don't drop by spontaneously. Message me first so that I can prepare something to give you as well.
Joel, you have a rain check date with me at the Cubao Leaky Cauldron.
Christmas Eve Dinner For Three
Christmas Eve dinner with Angelique and Aubrey. We didn't invite guests due to the pandemic. Nothing fancy like in previous years--steak, truffles pasta, dwarf potato salad, corn, sangria with fruit, and one of my granddaughters' favorite cakes.
Even if it was just the three of us, my granddaughters dressed for dinner and wore make-up and their gold necklaces.
Wednesday, December 23, 2020
Your Messenger message:
"Sir Tony, good morning po. Nagising po ako bigla and tingin ko po baka po matulungan nyo po ako. Nananaginip po kasi ako. Okay naman po. Normal na panaginip. Out of nowhere, napunta ako sa gitna ng kalsada. Katapat ko ang isang lalaki. Hindi ko maalala mukha niya. Pero pamilyar po siya. Parang kilala ko siya. Narinig ko po ang sarili ko sa panaginip na umusal ng, 'bakit andito ka? Bakit nasa nakaraanh buhay ako?' Tapos nakangiti lang siya. Hinawakan niya ako sa magkabilang balikat, sunod sa leeg. Sabi niya, 'mamamatay ako. Mamamatay na ako. Sabihin mo. Paalam.' Nakakatakot po siya. Tapos nagising po ako. Pero hindi pa po buo. Half-asleep. Then nung sinubukan kong pumikit, sinundan niya ako sa labas ng panaginip. Sa realidad. Naramdaman ko pong nagagalit siya. Umuga nang umuga ang sofa. Sinakal niya ako. Hindi ako makakilos. Kaya sumigaw ako kahit walang lumalabas na salita kundi ngongong tunog lang. Thankfully nagising po si Papa. Iniangat ako. Tinanong ko po siya kung me lindol pero wala raw. Ano raw nangyayari sa akin. Ano po kaya iyon, ser Tony? Ramdam ko po na parang nakasunod pa siya sa akin. Kinikilabutan po ako."
My reply:
Hello ___________!
The man you encountered in your dream is not your self from a previous lifetime. It is your Shadow. I suggest that you read up on the Shadow and on Shadow therapy. As I explained to you last time, it is necessary to confront the Shadow rather than fear it. The next time you dream of it, stop and face it--and make it your ally. Converse with it. Befriend it as you would befriend any human being.
As reflected in the details of your anxiety dream, it is your Shadow that has been pushing you to depression and suicidal thoughts.
Make the Shadow your ally. You will find that it will make you a most creative and productive person beyond your imagination.
Your Messenger message:
"Sir tony matagal ko nang gustong malaman ang tungkol sa madalas kong napapanaginipan dahil ngayon ko lang nalaman na Kaya nyo palang ipaliwanag ang mga kahulugan nito ...madalas ko pong mapanaginipan ang sobrang nakakatakot na burol at sementeryo at bangkay ...ano po bang dahilan o gustong ipahiwatig sakin nito?"
My reply:
Hello ________!
On one level, these anxiety dreams reflect your fear of death, specifically leaving this life without having made any significant contribution to the world.
On a deeper level, you have one or more habits or debilitating blind spots in your personality that your psyche is telling you to get rid of and bury forever. The dreams recur because you have not been taking the proper action on their message.
Tuesday, December 22, 2020
Monday, December 21, 2020
It feels great to be retired and writing reflections in bed at 10:00 AM, the very time everyone who is not yet retired is hard at work in the office. I savor the morning light in my bedroom windows, the atmospheric sounds around me, and my semi-nudity, if not my comfortable clothing.
I often go out of my way to do this.
Tear up and throw away all of your 2020 calendars before midnight on New Year's Eve. Ideally they should be burned outdoors in a fire pit or Chinese burner, but the first way is a safer practice.
It is all right if you stull don't have new calendars to replace the old ones.
This is a New Year's Eve ritual in itself.
Sunday, December 20, 2020
Yukiko Taka's Christmas collar.
Am pretending that it's not a poinsettia but a hibiscus, which is the flower of the goddess of the storm.
To view the photo, go to my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=3584451071641594&set=a.936008466485881.
Monday, Monday
UnFriended more non-interactive Friends. It was like getting rid of old Christmas decorations that were put up during happier times.
Down to 4,713 from 5,000.
To my real friends, those whom I personally know and who personally know me but are nonetheless non-interactive on my Facebook Wall:
I will start unFriending you once my List goes down to 700. You will be among the 200 that will bring my List down to the final 500. This shouldn't be a big deal because we know each other anyway.
_The Glorious Mysteries: The Assumption of Mary Into Heaven_
The Glorious Mysteries: The Assumption of Mary Into Heaven
Oil on cradled canvas
6' x 4.5'
December 11 - 20, 2020
In this painting, Mary is assumed into heaven above a tropical, Philippine landscape. She is dressed in 1920s carnival queen attire; this was a huge, annual pageant that was looked forward to in San Fernando, Pampanga where I was born, through the onset of the Second World War.
The ribbons round Mary's waist are representative of the contemporary movements for gender equality, breast cancer awareness, and the fight against domestic violence on women and children, which she brings to heaven like prayer banners.
I deliberately syncretized Mary's figure with that of Chang-O, the legendary, Chinese goddess of the moon, who obtained from her husband the elixir of immortality and then ascended to the moon. Interestingly, the Catholic feast day of the Assumption, August 15, is closely followed, from mid-August to September depending on the lunar year, by the Chinese Moon/Mooncake Festival. It was typical of the early Catholic Church to syncretize its feast days with "pagan" festival dates.
The planet Venus, a symbol of woman, shines at the top of the painting.
The pandemic is still on and I continue to refuse to admit outsiders and models into my studio. My granddaughter Aubrey sat for the figure of Mary.
The auditory stimulus I used while making this painting is at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6Oxwnf1lPE. Do listen to it while viewing the painting.
I was overjoyed when the latest piece of cradled canvas was delivered to our house December 10. I commenced construction lines the following day and looked forward to painting throughout the holidays, hoping to finish December 31. Alas, I finished Painting #21 for Maryhill School of Theology in a mere nine days. It is December 20, and I am now torn between ordering a new canvas, though I'm afraid the framer's men are already on vacation, or simply doing nothing but eat and sleep the rest of the year.
It is possible that my spirit guides want me to rest and take a break from painting until the first week of January 2021.
Saturday, December 19, 2020
It is quite interesting that we Filipinos, in Freudian terms, seem to be very oral, as evidenced in the Tagalog phrase "Ang sarap!" That phrase doesn't only mean "delicious" in referring to food--it is applied to cute babies, crushes, joy rides, vacations, recreation, hobbies, sex, obsessive-compulsive habits, among others--even to anger-related examples as in "Ang sarap niyang patayin!"
Does this verbal fixation have anything to do with breast feeding? It certainly isn't because "Filipinos love to eat"; I Posted elsewhere that, if that were true, we would have the largest culinary schools and cooking competitions in Asia. (Filipinos DO love to eat, but mostly chitchiria and standard office party food, not fine cuisine.)
Here are other oral phrases:
--Maasim ang mukha
--Matamis na dila
--Matamis na ngiti
--Mapait ang sikmura (I'm not including "Mapait na katotohanan" because it is a literal translation from "The bitter truth".)
--Inaalat ang suwerte
--Matabang na pagtingin
--Maanghang na salita
It is fine to make a relatively unimportant person feel important because:
--it raises his self-esteem
--it makes him feel loved and accepted
--it inspires him to rise and live up to your expectations
--it allows him to become introspective and discover his unused skills and talents
--it teaches him to be grateful to be alive.
Asked Lennoel to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.
Night chores.
My favorite time of the day has come gain: an evening shower, and then spending some time watching Bounty Hunter D, Patty Mayo, Paula Zahn, and Dan Patrick online videos.
It was drizzly all of last night and all of today, and I'm glad the drizzle has finally stopped.
Friday, December 18, 2020
The idiomatic phrase "Tama na!' is quite interesting. It is uttered by victims of torture and gang rape to indicate to their tormenters that they cannot take any more discomfort and pain.
Yet, literally, "Tama na" means "Right already" and can actually be taken to mean approval rather than disapproval.
Always paint human figures from actual models, never from imagination. Otherwise you will never be able to capture the myriad of characters and emotions available. When you paint human figures from imagination, the only character and emotion that will come through are your own, and you will tend to repeat yourself in every painting until your entire oeuvre becomes decadent and boring.
Thursday, December 17, 2020
Angelique and Aubrey came down to dinner in the dining room.
Worked half an hour on ninth glaze in the studio area.
Asked Lennoel to bring some food over to M.'s cafe staff.
My favorite time of the day has come again: an evening shower, and then spending some time watching Bounty Hunter D, Patty Mayo, Paula Zahn,. and Dan Patrick videos.
Wednesday, December 16, 2020
Now prepare a personal scenario for each day through the end of this year, and mark the highlights, if any, of each day.
What do you need to make each day satisfying and complete?
Have you omitted any obligations and activities?
How much time each day are you spending with your family and alone?
A well-prepared scenario each day helps you balance your availability, your energy, your time, and your money.
Each scenario is also a snapshot of a day in your life.
Author your life and give it a happy ending.
Tuesday, December 15, 2020
Monday, December 14, 2020
Early gifts from my sisters arrived this morning. Everything is in cash--as my gifts always are. I guess, no one feels like shopping the old-fashioned way.
To view the photo, go to Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=3568910693195632&set=a.936008466485881.
Some years ago portrait artist Rafael del Casal was chosen to do the painting of Aeneas carrying Anchises for the movie Ang Larawan, the musical version of National Artist Nick Joaquin's Portrait of the Artist as Filipino. For some reason the producers did not like the painting, and it was kept mostly defocused in the background. Rafael was perplexed and quite offended by this.
I never bothered to inquire, but it is possible that the producers felt that Rafael's rendition of Lorenzo el magnifico's painting in his classical, realist style was inappropriate to the material. Lorenzo el magnifico was a rebel and an outcast among his peers. Braque, Matisse, and Picasso were already deconstructing realist images elsewhere in the world--so, then, must have Lorenzo el magnifico.
In my blog titled Tony Perez's Enchanted Knits I mention a workshop I once led for the high school students of Philippine National School for the Blind under the auspices of the U.S. Embassy in Manila. One of the exercises in that workshop was to have the participants feel crayons and strands of yarn of different colors and determine the differences in feeling. Ninety-nine percent of the participants succeeded in identifying colors by feel alone. The color pink stood out most--pink yarn has a sandy, sticky feeling between one's fingers.
While painting this afternoon I noticed, for the first time, that different colors mixed with linseed oil have different SMELLS. I'm going to continue observing this before describing the unique smell of each color.
Sunday, December 13, 2020
Since about a week ago the compound tenants have been allowing their little children to play outside, albeit within the gates, perhaps because it's getting close to holiday time. Yukiko Taka is oblivious to their shrieks and laughter since she spends most of her time in the laundry area and is focused on lapping up her milk, but I recall that Cerefina loved children and used to bark at them while standing on our side porch.