Your Messenger message:

"I would like to ask for advice regarding the 'closure' for _____ and me. We have been separated for 20 years but stayed together in one house( separate rooms) for the sake of the _______. He has been using my company, enjoying the benefits but never a good provider. The money he was giving me was not even enough for food. I had a feeling he was a paranoid schizophrenia for his friend, Fr. ______________ was warning me to be careful for he dreamt _____ wanted to bury me alive with the boys in the hole he ordered to dig up pretending there was a treasure burried there.

"He was always promising to buy a house. We have been renting for more than 26 years with 5 cases of Ejectment Civil Case and Credit Card Case with _______ Bank . I have been implicated with his cases since he made me his co_maker. The Dept. of ______ Chief asked me to use my maiden name to protect my credibility. I wanted to file for Annulment but Lawyer and Judge were asking for almost 1M.

"Few years ago I borrowed 550,000 from a friend in Singapore to buy a house and lot but _____ stole all the money. Before that, I borrowed money to pay all his debts, car amortization, teachers salaries, kids tuitions, office rentals, etc.

"Before pandemic, he got blind and deaf. He was completely broke. Few months ago, the ________ Consulate suggested to send him to Nursing Home in _______. He got a Psychological Analysis last week and General Check up to go this week. He is very sick now. I would like to ask you what to do for 'closure' since he is in transition now. I am forgiving him for all his abuses to me and the boys likewise I am releasing him.

"Thank you, Tony."

My reply:

Hello _________!

You should have sought advice from women's groups such as Gabriela. I am certain they would have helped you somewhat had you consulted them early on.

Now that ______ is at the tail end of his journey, sit beside him and talk to him--tell him all of your thoughts and all of your feelings. Lead him through a visualization of crossing over to the light. It matters not that he cannot hear--it is like reciting the ritual prayers from the Tibetan Book of the Dead into the ear of the deceased. This exercise will be of help not only to him but also to you.

The candle of forgiveness is white. Light one at your altar every night.